Mental Health is NOT attention seeking

I have Anxiety. I have lost count of the amount of times people used to tell me I was saying I had Anxiety for attention. Any condition relating to mental health is not attention seeking, talking about having a mental health issue is not trying to get attention it’s showing that you care and are willing to discuss the subject.

I have encountered people who have used Anxiety and depression as an excuse and have not actually been suffering from it. This to me is a huge insult to people who have been suffering and makes a mockery of what people have had to go through.

I hate it when you mention the word “depression” or “anxiety” you sometimes immediately get tarnished with the same brush of “oh you’re just saying that for attention” or “nerves aren’t that bad, get over it”. My inner sarcastic diva wants to say “Well thank you very much! Now you’ve said get over it I don’t feel like this anymore”.

When people used to say to me that I was saying I had Anxiety for attention I wanted to say that they didn’t see me when I couldn’t leave my bedroom, they didn’t see me when I could barely bring myself to eat, they didn’t see me when I has PTSD that led to Anxiety, they didn’t see me when I had a panic attack when attempting to leave the house.

Mental Health is becoming a massive subject that some people just can’t understand. When I encounter people who don’t understand how bad Anxiety and Depression can be I want to tell them how lucky they are that they have never had to suffer from it, as I’d never wish it on anyone. However getting through it I believe, can make you a stronger person. The strongest of people can get through the other side of their dark times and live in lighter and happier times.

If you’re suffering from any sort of mental health issue, you will get through this. There will be a time when you don’t feel like this.

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Rude

“Good morning how can I help you?”

“Yes I want an MOT”

“Ok and when would you like to book that in for?”

“Tomorrow”

“Ok that’s all booked in for tomorrow for you, thank you very much”

“OK” *customer leaves*

This is a prime example of the rudeness that I face almost everyday. It comes in different forms, not saying please or thank you, customers talking loudly on their phones in the office or referring to me as “she” or “her”.

All of us face different kinds of rudeness all the time, whether it’s seeing someone taking up two parking spaces, not being thanked for holding a door open (which is the worst!!) or just generally not hearing please’s and thank you’s.

We seem to be in a social society where rudeness is rapidly spreading, it seems that if someone is rude to you all you want to do is be rude back, to make them feel how they’ve made you feel. Then it seems to constantly spread, like wildfire! The rudest man in the world has been elected to run one of the most powerful countries. The Scottish referendum fundamentally comes down to whether they like us or not!

I recently read an article that stated that the best way deal with someone being rude to you is to say “Just stop”. This makes sense as you’re not allowing yourself to be sucked into the vortex of rudeness between yourself and the person being rude. You’re not stooping to their level, you’re catching them off guard.

I myself am guilty of revenge rudeness, if someone is rude to me, I’ve then been rude to them but now I realize it doesn’t help, where does it get me? Just feeling guilty about being rude later on that day.

Maybe if all tried to stop being rude in the first place and handling rude people in a better way we can help stop the cycle of rudeness that seems to be taking over.

Scream and Shout

Do you ever have those times in life when all you want to do is scream and shout about problems you’re having? Just wanting to stand at the top of a hill and shout at the top of your lungs. I sometimes feel like everyone should be allowed a time when they can stand somewhere, on their own and just scream as loud as they want.

If you’ve read my past blogs you’ll know myself and my husband are considering a move to Australia after going there twice over the last 2 years. We are constantly looking into the decision and discussing what would be the best option for us.

My parents have not been very accepting of the travelling that we have been doing over the last 2 years, especially since we have been away over Christmas. We have never been asked about our recent holiday to Australia because they never approved of us going in the first place.

I think my mum especially seems to think I’m still 12 years old, she’ll text me to remind me of favors I am doing for her, she’ll tell me not to do certain things such as when I got my first tattoo. I sometimes feel like a rebellious teenager when she tells me not to do something it makes me want to do it more.

Sometimes I just want to go somewhere secluded and shout about how I don’t want to be told what to do, how I want to just live my life and they should respect my decisions and not tell me how to do things, how I look back and realize how many times I was held back by my parents and stopped from doing things I wanted to do as a teenager.

It sometimes makes me feel that they don’t trust me to make my own decisions, and that is very frustrating, especially at the age of 29. If I want to go and dye my hair I bloody well can! Surely as a parent when you’ve asked your child to do something you should have enough trust in them to know they’ll get it done.

I find myself telling my parents less and less what I’m doing, purely for the reason that I don’t want to hear their opinions and telling me the “correct” way of doing it. Hence the reason why we haven’t mentioned this potential upcoming move as they have always said to me that I could never live abroad.

What I wouldn’t give to stand on top of a hill and just scream as loud as I can to get all the frustration out that has been building for many years.

 

Stop asking me.

As a 29 year old woman the main question I always get asked is “So when are you having babies?”

Myself and my husband have been happily married for nearly 4 years and we are loving married life! We have been to America, Australia and we are to go back to Australia in 3 weeks time. Traveling is something that I have always wanted to do, and there are so many more places that we are desperate to see.

During my day to day life I always see a lot of my friends and family members and there is one question and subject that they always seem to ask me about…………babies. When am I having them? How many do I want? “You’re nearly 30 now you should start having babies”

Why should I start having babies?! Don’t get me wrong I love children, I even worked with children for 6 years after I graduated from University.

However just because of my age why does everyone assume I should adhere to the social stigma and have babies as soon as I’m married. I never ask my friends when they hare having babies, mainly because I don’t know what their situation is. They may not be able to have children, they may not want children, and they shouldn’t have to justify that to me!

We do want children, just not yet. There are so many things we want to do before we settle down and start a family. I have nothing against people who already have a family or may have started a family early, that’s wonderful and if that’s what they want then go for it!

It baffles me that people are so understanding about people having a baby before they’re married but can’t seem to understand if people don’t want a baby straightaway after getting married!

Whenever someone asks me “So when are you having babies?” and I answer politely “Oh not yet, we want to do a bit more travelling first” I always get the same answer “Well you need to hurry up! clock’s ticking!” Why do I need to hurry up?! Shouldn’t they just respect my decision. Just because you’re telling me “the clock is ticking” is not going to change my mind.

I was at a baby shower last weekend for a family friend and we’re all sat around the table and one of the ladies shouted to me “You’ll be next then! When can we expect your baby shower?” and then bam! The whole room stopped and looked at me and waited for my response and I genuinely think time stood still, I’m frantically trying to think of a response so all that came out of my mouth was an awkward giggle and something along the lines of “Oh I’m not sure yet!”. It was awful, the fact that I was put in the position of telling nearly a dozen people something personal was incredibly awkward.

I know people asking are just trying to be nice but what would be nice is if they think about what they’re asking to someone before asking it. If they don’t want to say or they don’t want to talk about it then just be respectful. It’s their decision, not yours.

ZoMo x

 

Why is it ok?

Why is it ok to assume I perve on men just because I work in a car garage?

Why is it ok to think that you can call me things like sweetness and baby?

Why is it ok to put your arm around me?

Why is it ok to presume I know nothing about the field I am working in?

Why is it ok to knock down my capabilities?

Why is it ok to presume I need mirrors around me to constantly re-do my make up?

Why is it ok to talk over me?

Why is it ok to make misogynistic jokes?

Why is it ok to refer to me as that woman behind the desk?

Why is it ok to tell me I’m wrong because I’m not a mechanic?

Why is it ok to ask me why I’m not at home cooking and cleaning?

The answer to all these questions?

It’s NOT ok!

I face sexist comments and digs like this almost everyday but I know that women are far more capable of things than we give ourselves credit for!

 

Just the woman behind the desk

So as you know myself and my husband run a mechanic and car servicing business where we live and I am predominantly behind the front desk, dealing with the customers etc, and something that is becoming more and more apparent to me is how I’m treated by people.

When people phone up to book in or talk to us about an issue with their car they can be quite rude to me however I tend to notice that when they speak to one of the lads they’re always more reasonable and politer. I ask myself why is this? It tends to make me feel as though people believe that I, as a woman, don’t belong in the world of mechanics and that I am “Just the woman behind the desk” which I have actually been referred to on more than one occasion.

I feel that when people just write me off for being behind the desk they don’t actually realise what goes on and the tasks that I undertake. They don’t see me doing the accounting, they don’t see me spending hours filing paperwork correctly, they don’t see me organizing the work to make sure we can get all the jobs done. They just see me as “just the woman behind the desk”.

It’s surprising how many times I will talk to a customer about their car and they’ll insist on speaking to one of the mechanics who will say exactly what I have just said, however because I’m just “behind the desk” they won’t listen to me.

There’s a lot to be said about “the woman behind the desk” and it gives me more admiration to anyone who works “behind a desk” because we don’t realise how much they actually do, we just see from the other side of the desk and don’t take into account what goes on behind it.

Don’t get me wrong I do get people who are courteous and friendly and will listen to me and that’s always a nice boost when you get someone who actually asks your name instead of referring to me as “she” or “her”.

You’re probably thinking “wow, she needs to toughen up!” and you’re right I do! I do need to stop letting it get to me and try to write it off, which is easier said than done but I will give it a try!

Does your job involve dealing with people? Have you ever experienced this?

🙂 x

Admitting Defeat

Myself and my husband run a local business where we live, which keeps us incredibly bust throughout the week and also on weekends.

He has been saying to me lately that he thinks we should get a cleaner for the house. I have always been dead set against it but today I gave in and someone is cleaning my house as I write this.

So why was I against it? Well the main reason is that I kind of feel like I’m failing as a wife in that I should be keeping on top of the housework but because we are constantly so busy the housework usually ends up at the back of the list and therefore suffers.

When I’m in the right frame of mind I like cleaning but we are both just so busy at the moment we just do not have the time.

On the other hand I think well why is it that the woman is always expected to do the cleaning, isn’t it better that I’m putting more time into running a business and not just giving into the stereotypical women doing the cleaning label!

I always used to worry about people turning up at the minute to the house because the house was always a mess. I use the term “mess” loosely, don’t get me wrong it’s not a dump, it just needs regular tlc such as hoovering, dusting etc. So when people used to turn up unannounced it’s a panic because I’m not happy with how the house looks.

I suppose with a regular clean each week if people do turn up unannounced it means the house is clean and presentable which would take some of the stress of the both of us.

I guess there is no harm us just trying it would for a month and see what the difference is.

What are your opinions on this?

Happy Friday!

Zo x