As a 29 year old woman the main question I always get asked is “So when are you having babies?”
Myself and my husband have been happily married for nearly 4 years and we are loving married life! We have been to America, Australia and we are to go back to Australia in 3 weeks time. Traveling is something that I have always wanted to do, and there are so many more places that we are desperate to see.
During my day to day life I always see a lot of my friends and family members and there is one question and subject that they always seem to ask me about…………babies. When am I having them? How many do I want? “You’re nearly 30 now you should start having babies”
Why should I start having babies?! Don’t get me wrong I love children, I even worked with children for 6 years after I graduated from University.
However just because of my age why does everyone assume I should adhere to the social stigma and have babies as soon as I’m married. I never ask my friends when they hare having babies, mainly because I don’t know what their situation is. They may not be able to have children, they may not want children, and they shouldn’t have to justify that to me!
We do want children, just not yet. There are so many things we want to do before we settle down and start a family. I have nothing against people who already have a family or may have started a family early, that’s wonderful and if that’s what they want then go for it!
It baffles me that people are so understanding about people having a baby before they’re married but can’t seem to understand if people don’t want a baby straightaway after getting married!
Whenever someone asks me “So when are you having babies?” and I answer politely “Oh not yet, we want to do a bit more travelling first” I always get the same answer “Well you need to hurry up! clock’s ticking!” Why do I need to hurry up?! Shouldn’t they just respect my decision. Just because you’re telling me “the clock is ticking” is not going to change my mind.
I was at a baby shower last weekend for a family friend and we’re all sat around the table and one of the ladies shouted to me “You’ll be next then! When can we expect your baby shower?” and then bam! The whole room stopped and looked at me and waited for my response and I genuinely think time stood still, I’m frantically trying to think of a response so all that came out of my mouth was an awkward giggle and something along the lines of “Oh I’m not sure yet!”. It was awful, the fact that I was put in the position of telling nearly a dozen people something personal was incredibly awkward.
I know people asking are just trying to be nice but what would be nice is if they think about what they’re asking to someone before asking it. If they don’t want to say or they don’t want to talk about it then just be respectful. It’s their decision, not yours.